Performing in Times Square

For me, the hardest part of doing standup is not caring what other people think. When you bomb terribly during a standup set, or even when you do well, there are always people who will judge you. The less you care what other people think, the better a comedian you will be.

To help tackle this fear, I spent Friday afternoon with my fellow comedian friend Carter performing comedy on the New York City subway and in Times Square. It went terribly, but it was a great learning experience.

As a new stand up comedian in NYC, you are always trying to get stage time. You’re not good enough for people to pay to see you, so it’s always hard to get a real audience. Enter: performing in public.

Legally, public performance is protected in the friendliest of terms by the First Amendment. In New York City, anyone is allowed to perform (and ask for money) in the city’s subway stations. The same right applies to the city’s streets. Performing in the subway cars themselves is illegal, but that may be for the safety of the performer more than for the commuters.

So, we decided to give it a shot!

First, we bought a big, blue bucket to ask for donations. Our goal was to make enough money to pay for the bucket. We bought the bucket for a lavish $4 and walked into the Times Square subway station, New York City’s busiest. We had our blue bucket, a cardboard box that could be made into a sign, and the wit of two of the city’s most confident comedians.

This was apparently not enough.

First we went to the mezzanine area- the part of the subway people walk through to go downstairs to the trains. Nobody stopped. We tried yelling, which got curious glances, but no one actually stopped to even say hello.

Then, we went down to the platform- right next to the trains. Here, we finally should have had a captive audience- people who have absolutely nothing else to do with their time. They could either wait for the subway in silence or they could listen to us. They all chose to wait for the subway in silence. We would walk over and start performing near a large group of people. Within a few seconds, before we even got to get into any jokes, everyone would move over to the other side of the platform.

After 30 minutes of this, we finally go these two teenagers to pay attention to us: two foolish individuals who were truly enticed by the prospect of a free comedy show. We finally got a chance to practice our material! And then they didn’t laugh at anything, politely leaving a few minutes later.

As we continued to experience complete and utter failure in the Subway, we went upstairs to Times Square and found a beautiful spot to harass the world’s tourists.


So many people walk through Times Square! It’s really something to behold. So many people completely avoid making eye contact- no matter how loudly you yell. A vast majority of people would make very quick eye contact, look away, and then read the writing on our box as they walked on by.

One guy was waiting for someone in the same area we were performing. Instead of coming by to watch us, he stayed as far away as humanely possibly – observing from a distance while apparently making a conscious choice that we weren’t good enough to observe close up or become engaged.

After about an hour of this, we decided to call it a day. Carter took the cardboard, I took the bucket, and we took the subway to an open mic. I’m definitely just a little bit more famous than I was before I did this.

What did I learn from this experience?

First and foremost, there is literally zero reason to care what strangers think about you. This is a great life lesson as well! Strangers – and even people you may know well – are wrapped up in their own problems, their own challenges, and their own busy lives. They think about you way less than you think about them; sometimes, they might not even notice you! Live life the way you want to live it without worrying about what others think.

Secondly, when performing comedy- or when doing any sort of presentation- it is critical to get people hooked extremely quickly. People have very short attention spans and, while it may have been an extreme in a subway station, a hook at the beginning is critical. You need to get people hooked before they make a snap judgement about what you’re offering them.

Lastly, I’ve gained a tremendous amount of appreciation for artists and musicians who are passionate beyond anything else about achieving their dreams. It was super challenging to do standup in a public location for one hour- I can’t imagine doing it day in and day out for years.

Next time I see a street performer, I’m definitely gonna stop and listen. And maybe even laugh. Just by being there, they are doing something truly incredible.